We all have that friend or family member who we know would love a rude gift. Just make sure it isn’t someone that is easily offended.
Personalised 'Screw It' Metal Sign

 

 

Personalised ‘Screw It’ Metal Sign

We all have days when we just have to say ‘Screw it!’ and open that bottle of wine that has been staring at us across from the dining table. As you watch television it’s there, staring back at you all the way from the kitchen. It would be rude not to! If this scenario brings someone to mind, then this stylish metal sign may be the answer to your Christmas present conundrums. Boasting a sketch-like image of a cork screw on a faded beige background, you can personalise it with the name of your recipient to read as so ‘[Recipient’s name] Screw It!’ A brilliant gift for the home of someone who loves any excuse to pop the cork of a nice vino. What Can I Put On My Sign? Personalise it with the name you wish to appear in up to 12 characters. Use our innovative preview feature to see how it will look with your personalisation. Simply type in your chosen words and press the Preview button. Dimensions: 30 x 40cm

Buy for £19.99 from Getting Personal

 

 


 

Ring For Sex - Rude Red Bell

 

 

Ring For Sex – Rude Red Bell

A humorous gift for any couple! With instructions…

Buy for £7.99 from Getting Personal

 

 


 

Boob Cube

 

 

Boob Cube

Perfect gift for lovers of boobs and puzzles.

Buy for £5.99 from Prezzybox

 

 


 

Willy Hoopla

 

 

Willy Hoopla

How’s your wrist action?!?! This makes a fun party-piece for all players to participate in! We all love a game of hoopla but its so much more fun using a willy instead! Objective of the game, just in case you haven’t played before, is to throw the rings to land around the penis. Great fun for 2 or more players. Our extremely popular Willy Hoopla game comes packaged in a brightly coloured Gift Box, in our stylish black and pink artwork which is used throughout our entire Girls Night Out range. The willy and colourful hoops are both plastic.

Buy for £4.99 from Prezzybox

 

 


 

Willy Exerciser

 

 

Willy Exerciser

This is the ultimate tongue-in-cheek gift with hilarious packaging too! The Willy Exerciser is a plastic miniature dumb bell, perfectly designed to fit neatly on your pecker and allow you to tense and strain for that six-pack sausage! The Willy Exerciser comes packaged in a colour display box.

Buy for £4.99 from Prezzybox

 

 


 

ICK Mug

 

 

ICK Mug

Show your mate just how much you care with this innocent and sweet ICK Mug. A charming and unassuming mug, the Ick Mug is pretty much the perfect gift for all those tea and coffee lovers in your life with its traditional design and quality ceramic exterior. With the mug being so spacious, the only thing the lucky recipient will be pining for is more quality time with their thoughtful friend as this mug will well and truly quench their hot drink needs. Oh wait we get it now. Maybe it isn’t so sweet.

Buy for £7.95 from Geniegadgets.com

 

 


 

How To Swear Around The World

 

 

How To Swear Around The World

How To Swear Around The World – Expand your vocabulary in time for your visit with this guide to swearing in multiple languages, cultural conflict guaranteed. Insult the locals eloquently and with gusto. 128 pages rammed full of foreign sweary delights. Featuring everyday curses, X-rated oddities and familiar phrases. The perfect rude gift for men.

Buy for £9.99 from Firebox

 

 


 

Rude Hand Gestures Of The World

 

 

Rude Hand Gestures Of The World

Rude Hand Gestures Of The World – There’s no denying it, flipping the bird has to be one of our favourite pastimes. But why end it there? The horizon of vulgar expressions is a gloriously lengthy one and it’s our responsibility not to leave a single stone unturned. There’s a big, wide, offensive world out there and it’s just itching to be explored. The perfect rude gift for men

Buy for £9.99 from Firebox

 

 


 

Boob Mug Cuppa Sweets

 

 

Boob Mug Cuppa Sweets

Our Cuppa Sweets are an exclusive gift which combines a Funky Mug with a big portion of our Retro Sweets. The mugs are of the highest quality ceramic and are dishwasher safe. Your mug will come with the design shown in the image. Each mug is filled to the brim with a portion of our Retro Sweets Pic n Mix range and then packaged inside a matching themed gift box.

Buy for £9.95 from FunkyHampers

 

 


 

Inflatable Boob Pillow

 

 

Inflatable Boob Pillow

A cheeky fun gift. The breast place to rest your head! This pair of inflatable boobies makes a great pillow. Great for the bath, beach or if you are really brave, travelling on a plane or train. Satisfaction guaranteed.

Buy for £5.99 from FunkyHampers

 

 


 

Remote Control Poop

 

 

Remote Control Poop

This hilarious remote control poo will have the whole family in stitches as it drives, spins and even makes rude bottom-burp sounds. Fun for all ages this novelty gift is perfect entertainment for all of your friends and family. Product Information:• Remote Control Poop• Novelty gift• Material: Plastic• Requires: 2 x AAA batteries• Dimensions: 14cm x 14cm x 10cm

Buy for £8.00 from The Works

 

 


 

Lovehoney Oh! Sex Bomb Sexy Surprise Bath Bomb for Him

 

 

Lovehoney Oh! Sex Bomb Sexy Surprise Bath Bomb for Him

A 2-in-1 gift with a sexy surprise, this bath bomb for him makes sure bath time goes off with a bang! A giant bath bomb to fizz and bubble and fill the room with its sensual musky aroma, it hides a sneaky sex toy surprise for extra explosive fun. Always use a good quality water-based lubricant with your cock ring for the best comfort and pleasure. Ingredients: Sodium Bicarbonate, Citric Acid, Sodium Sulfate, Cellulose Gum, Isopropyl Palmitate, Perfume, Polyethylene Glycol, Sodium C14-16 Olefin Sulfonate, C142090

Buy for £6.00 from Lovehoney

 

 


 

Clone-A-Willy and Balls Vibrator Moulding Kit

 

 

Clone-A-Willy and Balls Vibrator Moulding Kit

Like Ant and Dec or bunting and weddings, willies and balls are a divine pairing designed never to be apart. Reunite your 3 musketeers in vibrating silicone form with Clone-A-Willy’s premium kit, which has an added ball bowl for tip-to-stem replication. Do your member justice by casting its full length and 2 veg, for prouder sizing and better stimulation in use. With everything you need to create a completely body-safe platinum-cure silicone realistic vibrator, this is a giggle-a-minute project and a unique shared experience. In addition to its added ball mould this kit also features a multispeed vibrator to increase the range of sensations, operated by a wired rather than in-built controller for complete versatility during use. Perfect as a sexy Christmas or Valentine’s gift. The penis moulding kit contains: – Moulding tube with testicle attachment – Algae-based moulding powder – Platinum-cure silicone – Multispeed vibrating unit – Full illustrated instructions – Stir stick – Thermometer

Buy for £59.99 from Lovehoney

 

 


 

Lovehoney Large Lace Drawstring Lingerie Gift Bag

 

 

Lovehoney Large Lace Drawstring Lingerie Gift Bag

Don’t fall at the final hurdle when it comes to presenting your lingerie gift; instead, pop it in this pretty lace lingerie bag instead. Measuring in at 56cm long and 38cm wide, this bag is ideal for storing and presenting larger lingerie gifts. Made from stretchy black lace that adapts to fit the contents, this bag is the ideal way of giving a glimpse of your lingerie gift without giving everything away. Plus, it’s a great way to safely store any underwear to keep it from snagging on any other clasps or fastenings.

Buy for £5.99 from Lovehoney

 

 


 

Lovehoney Crystal Kink Couple's Sex Toy Kit (8 Piece)

 

 

Lovehoney Crystal Kink Couple’s Sex Toy Kit (8 Piece)

This collection of 8 glittering sex toy treasures contains everything you need to add extra sparkle to your sex life. A perfect gift to each other, the great value kit contains toys for him, for her and for both of you, to enjoy together or alone. The easy-to-use multispeed classic vibrator gives plenty of thrills on its own, or you can dial up the sensations by slipping the G-spot sleeve over its body. Not in the mood for vibrations? Try the sumptuous 6 inch dildo instead. The graduated anal beads and butt plug open up a realm of exciting anal play possibilities, and both have a retrieval loop for your safety. Take foreplay to the next level with the remote controlled egg vibrator, and she can enjoy a pleasurable pelvic workout with the jiggle balls. Both partners will delight in the vibrating rabbit cock ring, that can help him with stronger, longer lasting erections, with the rabbit caressing her clitoris. Use a generous helping of water-based lubricant to enjoy your toys to their fullest. Don’t forget to purchase 4 x AA batteries before you begin your Crystal Kink adventures.

Buy for £49.99 from Lovehoney

 

 


 

Lovehoney Lingerie Large Gift Box

 

 

Lovehoney Lingerie Large Gift Box

Clothing can be a pain to wrap at the best of times, let alone silky or awkwardly shaped garments like underwire bras, bustiers with boning or satin robes. Avoid an aneurysm and pick up this large gift box which we’ve designed specifically for lingerie. Perfectly sized for larger pieces of lingerie like basques, bustiers, corsets, catsuits, this box arrives flat-packed and assembles into a 2-piece box with a fully detachable lid. To assemble: – Take one half of the box and lay down with inside facing up – Grip both short ends and lift – Push long ends outwards to strengthen the folds – Repeat with second half – Fill with goodies – Put lid on base – Ta-da! Wrap the box with wrapping paper for a surprise within a surprise, or leave the attractive Lovehoney heart logo revealed as an irresistible tease to what’s inside. Dimensions: 45cm (L) x 27cm (W) x 12cm (D)

Buy for £4.99 from Lovehoney

 

 


 

Prosecco Flavour Jelly Willies 120g

 

 

Prosecco Flavour Jelly Willies 120g

Get fizzical and make snacking extra cheeky with these mouth-watering Prosecco-flavoured jellies. The perfect tongue-in-cheek gift for your friend, lover or Secret Santa, sparkling pleasure has never been so… chewy! Ingredients: Glucose Syrup, Sugar, Gelatin, Citric Acid, Natural Flavour, Carnauba Wax. Produced in a factory and on production lines that handles wheat. Not suitable for vegetarians.

Buy for £7.99 from Lovehoney

 

 


 

Candy Posing Pouch

 

 

Candy Posing Pouch

Provide a delicious dessert to follow your meat and two veg with this candy posing pouch. The perfect novelty gift for any man with a sweet tooth and a hot body, this skimpy garment is elasticated to fit most waistbands, and package sizes. Perfect for stag parties, Valentine’s Day and spur-of-the-moment surprise gifts, this confectionery novelty is a surefire way to raise a giggle. Please Note: This product contains wheat.

Buy for £5.99 from Lovehoney

 

 


 

Candy Nipple Tassels

 

 

Candy Nipple Tassels

Get set to unleash one sweet shimmy with these temptingly tasty edible nipple tassels. Formed from candy ‘beads’, with the adhesive pasties sitting neatly over your nipple, these appetising accessories make a wonderful gift or a fun addition to lingerie. Ingredients: Dextrose, Modified Maize Starch, Anti-caking Agent: Magnesium Salts of Fatty Acids, Citric Acid, Flavouring. Colours: Blue 1 (E133), Yellow 5 (E102), Red 40 (E129).

Buy for £4.99 from Lovehoney

 

 


 

X-Rated Love Hearts 44g

 

 

X-Rated Love Hearts 44g

A raunchy twist on the classic Love Hearts sweets, these saucy treats include captions such as ‘Eat Me!’, ‘Bend Over!’ and ‘I’m Horny!’. We’re blushing now. A sweet and naughty gift for you and your lover to enjoy together.

Buy for £4.99 from Lovehoney